I recently attended a wedding where I had to go without my husband. Which is normal! We like to give each other breaks, and we have so many weddings that it’s hard to go together because there might be two in one day. While sitting at the table we got to know the people sitting with me and my friends. Then the question, “what do you do?” Came around. Without hesitation, “I stay at home with my son right now.” The man across the way-“that’s awesome! Don’t ever be ashamed of that!”
I thought to myself – “I’m not.”
Dear Stay at Home Mom,
I know the decision to stay at home with your little one(s) is a big one. It’s difficult to leave a career you worked hard to get, and worked hard to maintain. You’ll miss your co workers (maybe), and the daily routine of work life.
You’ll think of all the people in your life that will judge the decision to stay at home in this women rule the work force society. Are you letting those women down?… At one point you wanted to rule the world, or at least mold it. Many women would never leave the workforce to stay at home. They are proud of their accomplishments (rightfully!), they enjoy working, and some may (probably) judge you for wanting to be at home. They can’t fathom the thought of “just being at home”, and believe that’s “all we do”. They don’t know that it’s more than that, and they don’t know why you stay home. Bluntly- who gives a shit what they think.
From one stay at home mom to another, I know what you do. I know that you are a machine. I know that you can hold a not so still youngster while making their bottle, I know you can *attempt* to clean the house while your kiddos run around your feet wanting you to play with them, I know you just want to pee alone, I know that some of you will try to find another way to help bring in money while being home, I know you teach your child, and I know that you can multi-task like a pro.
You’re at home watching your babies grow. You’re at home molding them into great humans. You may be at home because they need extra care. You may be at home because it takes a special person to take care of your sweet one. Whatever it is, be proud. You are one lucky lady!
A Stay at Home Mom
Not my usual post, but I have been wanting to write about this! I want to take it all the way back, about 8 months ago! The day I shall never forget! I became a mom, I was on the roller coaster of emotions, and I never thought I could love something so much in this world. So, some people have pretty easy birthing experiences, and I’m so happy for those people! On the other hand, some of us don’t have an experience go as planned. I have been wanting to write this story for a long time…stick with me people!
After being in the hospital for two days I started getting discouraged that this babe just didn’t want to see us yet! I was hardly feeling contractions and just cruising along in the hospital-burrowing in like it was my home. While there for the two days, he was moving around inside me like crazy. They always had to change positions on the monitors. I was given cytotec at night, and pitocin during the day. Finally, after walking around in circles, I decided I needed to go pee. On my way to the bathroom my water broke and I looked at my husband and said, “that’s not pee!” We told the nurses and they were so happy something was finally happening.
It didn’t take long for contractions to come along…and they were bad! It happened so fast- they were in my lower back. I think of myself as a high pain tolerant person-(I mean my leg was set back into place and I didn’t shed a tear) and I had tears flowing down my face. When the doctor finally came to check me…while checking me says, “Oh Shit!” My husband and I looked at each other with our eyes as big as quarters. That wasn’t very professional of this doctor….then she asked for the portable ultrasound machine. Once checking the ultrasound, it was discovered that he was breech. I was so angry, sad, and terrified in one fell swoop…So here comes the C-Section.
At this point I am crying my eyes out, I am being wheeled into the surgery room and I see my family in the waiting room. I hear my dad…”What the F is going on!” The doctor’s eyes got big and I could tell she was embarrassed. Somewhere along the way someone screwed up and she knew it. How could they not know this entire time that he was breech? Why did they not check sooner with an ultrasound? I mean I was there for two days…I’m not trying to be mean, I know things happen… My water broke, I’m having contractions, and he’s upside down?! This poor baby….
After getting settled. They began the surgery. I couldn’t feel a thing, it’s the weirdest feeling ever! My arms felt like logs… the lights were so bright, and my husband was so nervous I thought he might throw up. The surgery itself went smoothly, until they took him out. We heard the doctor whip off some technical term that I can’t remember then say, “cord wrapped around neck three times.” I think my heart stopped right then… they got it figured out and then you can hear his gurgling scream. They call my husband over to cut what was left of the umbilical cord.
After everything calms down and we are back in our room… family visits for a bit and we head into the night with our sweet boy. Through the night I kept looking over at our beautiful baby, but something just didn’t seem right and I couldn’t figure it out. Early in the morning he left to get circumcised. Everything went great, However a few hours later he would be rushed the NICU.
He was having trouble feeding… not breathing right and was really working. His hands and feet were blue. My favorite nurse, who is now a good friend to me, thought something was wrong. Her and another nurse took him away to do some tests and x rays….His Doctor was worried about a blood infection and they discovered he had PDA. My husband and I held our baby and cried together at the unknown as the nurses and NICU team worked together to transport our son.
Seven crazy days later his PDA was getting more faint (healing on own) and did not have a blood infection- we were finally on our way home!!! Emotionally we were spent and to be honest, traumatized. We thank God for our sweet boy everyday. My family and sweet words from friends made it a lot easier, too. We are so blessed with an awesome support team.
But wait! It doesn’t end there!
After a couple months home, I went back to work and Easton went to Daycare. It was going really well at first. Then it seemed like he was sick ALL OF THE TIME. He was a little over three months when he got RSV. My husband and I switched days of being home and work. Early one morning, I woke up to find Easton laboring to breathe. He also wasn’t eating. We decided to head to the ER. They did breathing treatments and monitored him over night. He started eating again and getting better. However, this sickness resulted in breathing problems. It could be asthma or something else. We’ve had to do breathing treatments ever since. Hopefully we will find out more soon at the pulmonologist!!
Keep Reading, it gets better…
Anyway, we both went back to work and he went back to daycare. It wasn’t long until he was sick again. EVERY WEEK one of us was staying home, going to doctor appointments , and stressing over his health. At work I got a phone call to pick him up because he had a fever of 102…that night/early morning we went to the ER. I was so scared. He was burning up and so lethargic I started crying before we left the house. We were transferred to another hospital where they finally discovered he had two viruses. Now, a baby with breathing issues seems to catch everything and when they do, it’s 10x worse.
It was a long week. At one point his mouth turned blue, he had fluids running through his head (where they could get a vein after poking him three times in his limbs), and was so miserable. My husband and I decided enough was enough and I would stay home with him. Ultimately saving us money between daycare and hospital bills. It’s been the best decision.
Side Note- During this second time in the hospital, my nephew was born the same day we went! YAY, baby Colby! He also had some difficulties though and was rushed to a NICU! Also, there was a heart scare with my grandma! MY POOR PARENTS! Baby Colby is doing great and my grandma is fine! Such a crazy time for everyone!
The Power of Prayer is amazing
Now…I’m a real proud mom that my son is one of those kids people swoon after! He has the chubby cheeks, big blue eyes, and a personality that makes everyone laugh. Ugh, my heart is exploding just typing about it. I’m so happy to be home with him and working on the best version of me!
So what do I do with him while I meal prep? Ha, did you think I was going to not talk about my fit journey in someway? Well, I put him in his little walker and away he goes! He pretty much occupies himself cruising around the house. Speaking of meal prep- what I did this week: lunch- turkey sausage, zucchini, carrots, and broccoli. Dinner- Cajun seasoned shrimp, and asparagus. I also get some sort of exercise in everyday. I’ve lost three pounds!! I don’t have a meal prep for the weekend, but I have a plan of attack! Good news, my husband is also back on this fit journey train! He’s lost four pounds 👌🏼