I used to be a butterfly in a gym. Meaning, I was fluttering around, doing my own thing, and able to land anywhere gracefully. Then I got squashed! Squashed by my own stupid fluttering in my beautiful life. I got too distracted and started not caring. So now in a gym, I’m an awkward elephant. Stumbling over my feet with my short trunk, fat head, and stumpy limbs.
Ugh, the struggle is seriously real! I can’t even do a lunge anymore without feeling like my knee is going to explode in all directions. Please people, give me some alternative to lunges. I’m sure I can just look it up, but I’m curious to what others are doing in that department. When I first discovered that I was having these problems with my knees was last week during one of my leg days. Ever since, I just haven’t been able to get over it. I feel silly not knowing what I could do different. I’m really struggling with that fact that once I was a fit queen to now being a chubby champion. Some of you might be thinking I’m being really hard on myself. I don’t see it that way, I’m just realistic. I know what I am and what I’m not.
I don’t think I’m not beautiful, my husband tells me everyday. I don’t think I’m not confident… I can walk around my house in the skimp and not think twice. Everyone has some sort of flaws, I’m just extremely aware of them and don’t care to share!
However, when I am at a gym I just shrivel inside. I can’t hide fast enough or finish what I’m doing fast enough. It’s so crazy! I don’t want to be like that because I do enjoy working out. It’s MY time. I’m just not using it effectively. When I first started out, I thought this part would be easy and eating healthy would be hard. It’s the total opposite. I love meal prepping and it’s working!
What is working for me at the gym? Cardio and free weights. I don’t do a whole lot of free weights, just the minimum really; curls, triceps, butterflies…. I used to do lunges before my knees were going to splatter and squats. I know there are other things I can be doing to help me. This part of it is just going to take me some time to get comfortable with it again.
I think being truly comfortable with any journey will always help people excel. If you’re in a new relationship, you don’t truly grow until you are 100% comfortable. If you are at a new job, you don’t truly excel until you are 100% comfortable. If you are new to a school, you don’t truly achieve academic greatness until you are 100% comfortable. I am waiting for my 100% comfortable, then I will truly thrive in my fit journey.
In the meantime, here is my meal prep for the week! Breakfast- overnight oats: 1/2 cup old fashioned oats, 1/2 cup light almond milk, half scoop cake batter protein. For Friday’s I added a dash of cinnamon because it’s Friday (duh). Lunch- ground turkey with brown rice, seasonings, and diced bell peppers. Broccoli and asparagus too! Dinner- Baked lemon Salmon, sweet potato, and broccoli.
It’s no secret that I’m a wino! Hell, there’s not many drinks I will turn down, honestly. Even beer. My husband interned at Triton Brewery one summer, and ever since he has been a Craft beer guru. Which means I get to taste too! Wine is my absolute favorite though. Even if my tastebuds don’t agree on the wine I’m drinking, I will still drink it. It’s easy for me at the end of the night when my son is in bed and it’s just the hubby and I, to grab a glass of sweet red whatever wine is in my kitchen. Sometimes that one glass turns into two, and before I know it the whole bottle is gone! Some of you may be thinking, “oh my”…but let’s be honest…I know there are many of you out there who are thinking, “yeah, I do that too!” I don’t do that as often as I once did, but I can’t say it never happens. Sometimes I’ll leave a little bit in the bottom of the bottle just so I can have half a glass the next night before bed 🙊…..OK, I’m a little embarrassed now….
When did I become such a wino? College for sure, but not until junior and senior year! Or was it my first year teaching?? So, my husband went to Wabash College (WAF!!) and was apart of Lambda Chi. A lot of late nights, hanging with our friends, playing drinking games, and keeping up with whatever sporting event was going on. Beer can be cheap and so can wine. However, games were played with beer and big parties had the ever so delicious (sarcasm) jungle juice.
Those years were the best, but I don’t think that’s where my obsession began. No… it was my first year teaching. My first year I taught 3rd grade. I was so excited and nervous! All of the first year jitters! I didn’t realize how stressed out I was going to be.
As you all know, 3rd grade is the year state testing begins. Those poor kids get content jammed in their tiny brains, it’s up to us to make it fun and engaging!! Behind the scenes of the fun and engaging lessons is the amount of pressure.
EVERYTHING was data driven and inside the front office was a collection of our classes reading data broadcasted on the wall for educators and administrators eyes only. When I first saw it I was so intimidated. Wine down. Data was also displayed outside our rooms. Wine down. Data was inside our classrooms. Wine down. Once, the principal approached me and the conversation went something like, ” no pressure Hannah, but last year our 3rd grade had an IREAD passing percentage of 98%..”oh, really? 😐 wine down. In case you’re all wondering, we went 98% passing (woot)! Oh, not to mention ISTEP. Wine down. And then there were evaluations! She would sit at my desk and go through all of my lesson plans and watch me teach for what seemed like an eternity. Wine down.
If you didn’t get it, wine down meant that I was drinking my night away, haha.
You can say that I had a close relationship with wine that year. There were also a few people in that building that shared my love for wine or having an occasional drink. My classroom aid was an angel from above! I’m pretty sure she loves wine as much as I do. I vented to her about everything and we shared our dreams. My team teachers were also pretty awesome. We had some good laughs. They were my comic relief. I could probably write a book about my first year teaching and it would become a movie- a comedy of course.
So, what does all this have to do with being healthy and fit? Now that I’m on this fit journey I don’t drink as often and don’t feel the need to wind down (or should I say, wine down?) as much. I think I feel this way because I work out so often now. I know we all know that exercise helps release stress. Some of you are thinking “why are you stressed, you’re a stay at home mom..” well, because LIFE. Other ways I wind down include taking a bath, going on walks with my cutesy family, or I’ll just go on a quick jog. I do feel better replacing wine with these healthy activities. When I do want to have a drink of wine I do so in moderation. Side note- I’m also a grandma these days and go to bed pretty early, which gives me less wine time. I cherish my sleep now. I also think that living a healthy lifestyle doesn’t mean you deprive yourself from the things you love. Living a healthy lifestyle also means you’re keeping your mental state in tact too. If I want a glass of wine or two, I’m going to have it.
Speaking of moderation. I was so proud of myself this weekend. I went to a bridal shower and didn’t over do it on the food there. I did have a cupcake, though. Let’s be honest here! If you don’t have a cupcake at one of those things it’s like an insult to the people who bought them and the person who made them! …right?
Stay tuned of what I did for meal prep this week!
Not my usual post, but I have been wanting to write about this! I want to take it all the way back, about 8 months ago! The day I shall never forget! I became a mom, I was on the roller coaster of emotions, and I never thought I could love something so much in this world. So, some people have pretty easy birthing experiences, and I’m so happy for those people! On the other hand, some of us don’t have an experience go as planned. I have been wanting to write this story for a long time…stick with me people!
After being in the hospital for two days I started getting discouraged that this babe just didn’t want to see us yet! I was hardly feeling contractions and just cruising along in the hospital-burrowing in like it was my home. While there for the two days, he was moving around inside me like crazy. They always had to change positions on the monitors. I was given cytotec at night, and pitocin during the day. Finally, after walking around in circles, I decided I needed to go pee. On my way to the bathroom my water broke and I looked at my husband and said, “that’s not pee!” We told the nurses and they were so happy something was finally happening.
It didn’t take long for contractions to come along…and they were bad! It happened so fast- they were in my lower back. I think of myself as a high pain tolerant person-(I mean my leg was set back into place and I didn’t shed a tear) and I had tears flowing down my face. When the doctor finally came to check me…while checking me says, “Oh Shit!” My husband and I looked at each other with our eyes as big as quarters. That wasn’t very professional of this doctor….then she asked for the portable ultrasound machine. Once checking the ultrasound, it was discovered that he was breech. I was so angry, sad, and terrified in one fell swoop…So here comes the C-Section.
At this point I am crying my eyes out, I am being wheeled into the surgery room and I see my family in the waiting room. I hear my dad…”What the F is going on!” The doctor’s eyes got big and I could tell she was embarrassed. Somewhere along the way someone screwed up and she knew it. How could they not know this entire time that he was breech? Why did they not check sooner with an ultrasound? I mean I was there for two days…I’m not trying to be mean, I know things happen… My water broke, I’m having contractions, and he’s upside down?! This poor baby….
After getting settled. They began the surgery. I couldn’t feel a thing, it’s the weirdest feeling ever! My arms felt like logs… the lights were so bright, and my husband was so nervous I thought he might throw up. The surgery itself went smoothly, until they took him out. We heard the doctor whip off some technical term that I can’t remember then say, “cord wrapped around neck three times.” I think my heart stopped right then… they got it figured out and then you can hear his gurgling scream. They call my husband over to cut what was left of the umbilical cord.
After everything calms down and we are back in our room… family visits for a bit and we head into the night with our sweet boy. Through the night I kept looking over at our beautiful baby, but something just didn’t seem right and I couldn’t figure it out. Early in the morning he left to get circumcised. Everything went great, However a few hours later he would be rushed the NICU.
He was having trouble feeding… not breathing right and was really working. His hands and feet were blue. My favorite nurse, who is now a good friend to me, thought something was wrong. Her and another nurse took him away to do some tests and x rays….His Doctor was worried about a blood infection and they discovered he had PDA. My husband and I held our baby and cried together at the unknown as the nurses and NICU team worked together to transport our son.
Seven crazy days later his PDA was getting more faint (healing on own) and did not have a blood infection- we were finally on our way home!!! Emotionally we were spent and to be honest, traumatized. We thank God for our sweet boy everyday. My family and sweet words from friends made it a lot easier, too. We are so blessed with an awesome support team.
But wait! It doesn’t end there!
After a couple months home, I went back to work and Easton went to Daycare. It was going really well at first. Then it seemed like he was sick ALL OF THE TIME. He was a little over three months when he got RSV. My husband and I switched days of being home and work. Early one morning, I woke up to find Easton laboring to breathe. He also wasn’t eating. We decided to head to the ER. They did breathing treatments and monitored him over night. He started eating again and getting better. However, this sickness resulted in breathing problems. It could be asthma or something else. We’ve had to do breathing treatments ever since. Hopefully we will find out more soon at the pulmonologist!!
Keep Reading, it gets better…
Anyway, we both went back to work and he went back to daycare. It wasn’t long until he was sick again. EVERY WEEK one of us was staying home, going to doctor appointments , and stressing over his health. At work I got a phone call to pick him up because he had a fever of 102…that night/early morning we went to the ER. I was so scared. He was burning up and so lethargic I started crying before we left the house. We were transferred to another hospital where they finally discovered he had two viruses. Now, a baby with breathing issues seems to catch everything and when they do, it’s 10x worse.
It was a long week. At one point his mouth turned blue, he had fluids running through his head (where they could get a vein after poking him three times in his limbs), and was so miserable. My husband and I decided enough was enough and I would stay home with him. Ultimately saving us money between daycare and hospital bills. It’s been the best decision.
Side Note- During this second time in the hospital, my nephew was born the same day we went! YAY, baby Colby! He also had some difficulties though and was rushed to a NICU! Also, there was a heart scare with my grandma! MY POOR PARENTS! Baby Colby is doing great and my grandma is fine! Such a crazy time for everyone!
The Power of Prayer is amazing
Now…I’m a real proud mom that my son is one of those kids people swoon after! He has the chubby cheeks, big blue eyes, and a personality that makes everyone laugh. Ugh, my heart is exploding just typing about it. I’m so happy to be home with him and working on the best version of me!
So what do I do with him while I meal prep? Ha, did you think I was going to not talk about my fit journey in someway? Well, I put him in his little walker and away he goes! He pretty much occupies himself cruising around the house. Speaking of meal prep- what I did this week: lunch- turkey sausage, zucchini, carrots, and broccoli. Dinner- Cajun seasoned shrimp, and asparagus. I also get some sort of exercise in everyday. I’ve lost three pounds!! I don’t have a meal prep for the weekend, but I have a plan of attack! Good news, my husband is also back on this fit journey train! He’s lost four pounds 👌🏼
I live in an area where I can see a lot of people running by our house. The women wear their shorty shorts and the men in their shorty shorts too 😳. Someday I’ll join them in the shorty short trend, but not quite yet! However, last night I decided to go run because I didn’t get the chance to get to the gym.
It’s been a long time since I have ran or jogged, about two years. But I thought, oh no big deal, I’ll be fine. I turned on my music that gets me real pumped and away I went! I got to the stop sign down our street (like two blocks), and I already was thinking F***!!! (Fudge, you dirty minds)- I didn’t stop there, though!! I made my way to the park and then stopped, haha. I kept walking and running, switching back and forth every so often until I finally got home.
While running, I could I feel every part of my legs jiggle. I couldn’t help but giggle at this…then the giggle turned serious when I felt “the itch” coming on. This itch is both good and bad. Good, because you know this is your body’s way of screaming off fat. Bad, because you want nothing more than to flop on the ground in a scratching frenzy-well at least I wanted to do that. I also felt accomplishment that I was finally doing this again, and it felt good.
For some, running comes easy. They have been doing it their entire lives and it has become a way life. For others, it’s difficult to get down the road without falling over. This plays into life as well. Some people fly through life so smoothly and effortlessly, seemingly knowing what they are meant to be in this world. While others seem to stumble along the way. For those who stumble, it’s important to keep stumbling forward because soon those stumbles turn into strides and before you know it, you’re a champion.
This week I changed up my breakfast routine a bit! I saw “overnight oats” on Pinterest and decided to give it a shot! I looked through some recipes and thought some were a little too much for me, so I made up my own. Using a small mason jar, I put in a half cup of original oats, half cup of light almond milk, a few banana slices, and a tsp of vanilla extract. I shook it up real good and let it sit in the fridge over night. Turned out AWESOME! I made two of those. I also made two with cake batter protein instead of banana and no vanilla. I’ll let you know how that turned out!